Having a random hookup so left but love u
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
