well you can't waste a boner
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
