Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
this just has baby written all over it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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