I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
