Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
