: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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