Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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