she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
