he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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