Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
