Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Are we still banned from the library?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize