If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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