TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
