hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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