I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize