I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
