It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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