We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
pop tarts are not kleenex
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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