Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
