Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
