its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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