Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
