You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
