I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
