a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
