I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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