at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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