we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
