marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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