well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
