'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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