Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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