It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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