is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
