Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
