I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
