I think my vagina is haunted
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
