How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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