It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
