Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
