Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
