i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
