My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
