I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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