For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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