So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
