I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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