He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
