i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
