I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i think i have herpe
just one?
a search helicopter?!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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