i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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