You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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