Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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