new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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