It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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