Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
