When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
