He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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