How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
