'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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